The Longview
by Gr8BigNerd
Summary: This is a series of oneshots. Huddy. Reviews are my drug of choice!
1. Telling the Truth

**Telling the Truth**

It was never like this before; it'll never be this way again. The thrill of that moment, masquerading as love, and pretending to be devotion. But he was devoted to her. In his way. Clearly she was devoted to him, though she fought it with every breath. Wilson had spent the day trying to convince him how great this could be for him. Cuddy wrote it off as an emotional moment. She was thankful it went no further. She was wrong about him though. It wasn't a human moment that made him lean into her, pull her lips to him and consume her. No, it was a selfish moment. He went to her home that night because he wanted her. He didn't care if it was wrong or made no sense. He didn't care if she didn't want him. Stupid Wilson. Almost had him fooled. Why else would he be here, riding his bike down her street, stupid red roses tucked into his jacket. What would he say? I love you. I want you. No, nothing trite. I can make you happy? Did he really believe that? She could probably make him happy. Want to have dinner? Want to make out some more? Want to take a shower with me?

I think we are ready this time. That would be closest to the truth. Or closer to the words he had been wanting to say to her for twenty years. He stopped the bike a couple of houses down, so she wouldn't hear him approach. He moved up her drive, and passed her window. There she was. Beautifully oblivious. The urge to bang on her door, whip her up in his arms, and take her straight to bed surged through him so that he had to force himself to stay where he was. She took a sip of coffee (coffee at ten o'clock at night—she would have French vanilla cream, no sugar). He felt guilty watching her this way. Yes, go to her door, and take her again. Though this time they wouldn't have an emotional moment to fall back on. This time they would have to tell the truth. This time he could even be happy. If he let it happen.

He watched her for another moment before dropping the bundle of roses in the shrubs at his feet and turning back to his bike. Inside the house Cuddy looked up when she heard the roar of a motorcycle in time to see a single light rip by her window.


	2. Trying Again

**Trying Again.**

It had taken her days to walk back into the nursery. Office. She had taken to calling it an office. The golden walls hurt her eyes, as the empty crib hurt her heart. _Not meant to be_. It was the kind of platitude that didn't really say anything, but managed to make her feel about ten times worse. Now sitting at her desk, she morosely deleted her profile on the adoption agency website. Three weeks had passed. Joy and her mother had left the hospital, both in good health. She didn't go see them. She had already said her goodbyes.

House had been keeping his distance; she wasn't surprised. Though on this day, he barged into her office without a word and sat down across from her desk. He looked at the floor and tapped his cane for a few moments.

"House?"

He didn't look up. "I've got this idiot patient. She's a married Saudi here on a student visa." He tapped his cane again. "She messed around with some grad student and got pregnant. Tried to self-abort and got an infection…all kinds of weird stuff going wrong with her."

"She aborted her baby herself?"

"No," he said, eyes still on the ground. "She tried to self-abort. If her husband found out she had an affair the family would kill her anyways."

"You don't know that."

He shrugged. "She thinks that. I think she's gonna be okay now though. She's agreed to wait and deliver the baby before she goes back to her husband in March. Kid's due in December."

Cuddy shifted uncomfortably. "That's good."

House was silent for a full three minutes before, "Want her?"

"House!"

"Come on Cuddy. You won't lose this one. It's a life or death situation, she's not going to go back to Saudi Arabia with a kid that's half white. "

"Please don't do this to me." He did look up at her now.

"Don't do what? Give you that piece of yourself you claim to have been missing? Was I right? Do you really not want a kid?"

"You really are an ass. You know that's not it."

House stood, and winced. He limped over to the side of her desk and knelt down beside her. He put his hands over hers resting in her lap. "Then just take her Cuddy. It's your chance. I promise, I won't let this fall apart." Tears had sprung to the corner of her eyes. "Say yes."

Slowly she nodded. _Yes, I'll take her_.


	3. The Calm

**The Calm.**

The baby girl was named Jenna. "That's a stupid name," House remarked as he stood over her basinet. Cuddy had brought her home that morning. House poked at the mobile over hanging over her head.

"Don't call my daughter's name stupid," Cuddy said, though she hadn't stopped smiling since she was born three days before.

"She has your hair." Wilson said. He stood beside House holding a huge basket full of newborn gifts.

Cuddy rolled her eyes. "Not possible." She screwed the cap on the bottle she was preparing and scooted House out of the way. Wilson set the basket down and watched Cuddy pick up the baby girl.

"You look…I'm really happy for you," he said.

"Oh, stop drooling Wilson," House said. "You didn't have a shot in hell before. She's got that goober now, she may never need a man again." Wilson blushed a little but Cuddy ignored them as she helped the bottle between Jenna's lips. Wilson stepped over and kissed Cuddy's cheek.

"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?"

Cuddy smiled at him, "yeah of course."

"Do you need a ride home House?"

House shook his head, "I rode my bike." Wilson looked at Jenna again with glassy eyes before turning and leaving them alone in the nursery.

"He is such a woman." House said. He moved back around so that he was in front of Cuddy. "Let me feed her," he said.

Cuddy looked up at him, confused. "What?'

"you're holding the bottle too low; she's gonna get bubbles in her stomach. Let me do it."

"I am not," Cuddy was defensive. She bought bottles that would filter the bubbles so Jenna wouldn't get gas as bad. She glanced up at House who was looking down at Jenna. He was looking at the little girl the same way Cuddy had caught him looking at her on more than one occasion. She frowned, and then tucked her palm under Jenna's head and shifted closer to House stretching her out to him. "Just for a minute," she said.

And then a few weeks later in her office. "I thought you were on maternity leave." House stood at the side of Cuddy's desk, where Jenna lie in a pumpkin seat snuggled in several layers of blankets. "you're gonna cook her in all this stuff." He started pulling blankets off the baby, and found her tiny hands under the pile.

"I am on maternity leave, that doesn't mean I don't still have responsibilities here. And what happened to all that, I'd make a great mother stuff? It's thirty degrees outside."

"I'm not babysitting," House said.

"You can say that again. The nanny will pick her up here in little while, I'll only be here for a couple of hours, then I'll take the rest home with me." Jenna whimpered and House lifted her out of her seat.

"Nanny?"

"I'm a single mother House, I was eventually going to have to hire someone."

House frowned. "A couple of hours?" Cuddy nodded, as she shuffled through one of the several stacks of papers and file folders on her desk. "Forget the nanny. I have a lumbar puncture she can help with."

"Wha-?" But House had already turned and was heading out the door. Cuddy noted that he was limping hard. He had hung his cane over his left arm and held Jenna tight with both hands.

"House, your leg…"

"I'm fine," he called back without turning around.


	4. Letting Go

**Letting Go.**

"Are you kidding me with this loser?" Cuddy rolled her eyes. He had always acted possessive and obnoxious around her dates. This was not new.

"This is none of your business House, we need to move past," she waved her hand between them, "this stuff." They were sitting at a corner booth, of an intimate sushi bar up-town. Cuddy's date had excused himself to make a phone call, and House had been waiting to pounce.

"None of my business? None of _my_ business? Who is the jerk?"

"Just a guy I met." House picked up a broach that Mr. Moneybags had given her at dinner, and she snatched it away from him.

"Just a guy? Does this guy know that you only went out with him to get a reaction out of me?"

"Well, clearly it's not working."

"What are you doing messing around with these tools? What about Jenna?"

"Jenna," Cuddy lowered her voice sternly, "is my daughter. I still deserve to be happy, House. And I guess I figured that since you and I haven't been involved for years, save for one kiss seven months ago that we both agreed meant nothing, I figured it would be alright."

His face fell, slightly and he looked down at the floor. "You were the one who said it didn't mean anything. Not me."

And then he left as quickly as he had come, despite her guilty protest. She fingered the gift, and then slipped it back into the box and pushed it to the other side of the table. She looked around to see her date pacing back and forth on his cell phone in the lobby. Cuddy closed her eyes and shook her head. _I'm not going to do it_, she thought. But before the thought had fully made it to the forefront of her mind she had scooped up her purse and headed for the side door.

She felt him sitting in her living room, before she actually saw him basked in the shadows of the streetlamps outside.

"Where's Nancy?"

"I sent her home, baby's asleep."

"You were taking a big risk coming here. What if I would have brought him back with me?"

"Then I would have thrown him out." House said and then he stood, and slowly moved toward her. "But I knew you wouldn't." He stood an arm's length from her, but reached out and fingered a loose piece of fabric hanging from her side. He met her eyes, and smiled, "You love me too much."

"You love me way more," her eyes shined, in equal parts fear and glee.

"See, you just admitted it." He closed the gap and mover his hand up her arm and into the tangle of chocolate curls. "I'm sleeping over."

"I know."


	5. Holding On

Thanks for reading. This one is a little longer...but gooder (that a word? it is now). You keep reading and I'll keep writing :)

**Holding On.**

"Since when did your office become the nursery?" Cameron leaned in the doorway to the office.

"Cuddy is the dean of medicine. This kid is going to have free run of this hospital as soon as she learns to walk. " House sat in his chair in the corner and stared at Jenna who had pulled herself up on her stubbly legs and was gripping the side of his desk like a vice.

"She's here all the time. We can barely get any medical stuff done because he's got her--" That was 13.

"Shhh." House stared at Jenna, who bounced up and down still holding onto the desk.

"Page Cuddy, get here up here now." House whispered.

"What? House, she's fine." Taulb.

"She's about to take her first steps." He said. "Get her up here. Stat."

**OOOO**

It was an odd restless feeling. One that had not crept up since the night Cuddy lost Joy. Things were starting to come full circle for him. And it was terrifying. It felt temporary, or to be more accurate, it felt insecure. Time passes and things seem happy. You don't define it, you don't try to box it in, you just enjoy it. Until it gets to the point where not defining "this" is just not enough. House stood in the lounge playing foosball by himself. Cuddy had taken Jenna home, and House had stayed. He was waiting on his team to finish some tests…some patient. He was distracted so much of the time these days.

The truth was, tonight he didn't want to face her. He was running scared. She could see it coming; she always saw things so clearly with him. This is why she didn't fight him when he told her he was gonna stay late and then go home tonight.

The door to the lounge swung open and Wilson appeared. He had been looking for him forever.

"I hear your daughter took her first steps today. Congrats." House chose to ignore the 'your daughter' reference. Right now that stung too much.

"There is nothing extraordinary about a one year old taking a couple of steps on her own. Maybe if she would have taken off running down the hall screaming 'my mommy's a MILF' then…"

"Cuddy told me you almost cried."

House stopped playing the game. "Did you want something? Or are you just here to annoy me."

"I don't want you to screw this up. You have a chance to be happy—"

"Screw what up? I don't have anything. "

"You have a family House. If you hurt her this time, it won't just be her you let down. You guys have a kid to think about."

"Exactly my point. Cuddy's kid." He limped over to the bar and sat down. He rubbed his leg and fingered him Vicodin bottle. "Cuddy won't make our 'relationship' public because people will respect her less if they think she lets me get away with so much because we're involved. She has a daughter who she lets me feed oatmeal to in the mornings but won't let her call me daddy when we tuck her in at night."

"That's ridiculous. You're getting nervous that Cuddy isn't demanding more out of you, now you're going to push her away?" House stared at him and then left the lounge. Wilson was right. This was ridiculous.

**OOOO**

Tonight he knocked; he didn't use his key. When she answered she was a little surprised to see him.

"We need to talk," he said.

Cuddy nodded, "I thought we might." She moved aside for him to come in and then followed him into her living room and they sat down, House on the couch, Cuddy facing him in her favorite chair. "Did you come to break up?"

"No," he said flatly, and pulled his Vicodin from his jacket pocket and dropped one into his palm. "I've cut way back," he said shaking the ¾ full bottle for her to see. "six a day." He popped the pill into his mouth. "Sometimes seven."

She smiled. "I had noticed. Are you coping alright?"

"I do okay."

"What did you want to talk about?" She wrapped a deep red chenille throw over her shoulders and leaned closer to him. He didn't look at her right away.

"Cuddy…" he felt like such an idiot. "I don't—I'm not sure if I would make a very good father."

It seemed so absurd; she almost laughed aloud. "No one is asking you to be a father, House."

"I know you haven't asked, but I assume we are doing more here than playing sleep over." She didn't answer. "cuddy?"

"Yes, we are more than just sleeping over."

"Well, then you had to know this would come up sooner or later." He scooted closer to her.

"It's complicated House. As long as I'm still your boss, and you're still…insane, I can't officially acknowledge our involvement. And If I was no longer your boss, you'd no longer have a job. "

He shook his head, "I don't give a crap if people know or not, but I do care that you are letting me get attached to that little girl, knowing you could rip her away from me at any second. "

"Or knowing that you could bail on her," he had made her angry. "House, you got close to Jenna on your own. You were smitten from the first time you insulted her name and she paid you back by spiting up on your Rolling Stones t-shirt. I had nothing to do with it."

"But you didn't stop me from falling in love with her, did you?" This caught Cuddy off guard. He didn't use those words very often.

"I knew that you cared, and I knew if you really cared, you'd never hurt her."

"But I've hurt you before. You think I didn't care?"

"I think you knew I could handle it. And that I'd be there anyways. The same reason you hurt Wilson sometimes. You know that no matter what you are going through you can take it out on the ones who really love you and they won't abandon you. No matter what."

"I don't want to lose you. Or her. But I need some kind of assurance from you that I'm not going to get burned. I know it's selfish but I need that."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want to adopt Jenna. I want to be her dad."


	6. TeeterTotter

**Teeter-totter. **

"You asked her—what?"

"It's a test. She said no, and now she thinks I'll bolt and she will have proof that I was never serious in the first place."

"House…" Wilson couldn't find the words. "You can't just go over to her House in the middle of the night and demand that she hand over half the legal rights to her child to you. What did you expect she'd say?"

House tapped his cane on the ground and leaned his head on the back of Wilson's couch. "I was asking her to share her life with me. I really didn't expect her to say no. I got mad and left and now I don't know how to be around her."

"Well you have to fix this." Wilson said.

"Thank you, that is very helpful." House leaned forward and rubbed his thigh ferociously.

**OOOO **

"Okay, Cuddles…but just once and then you've got to go to bed." House picked up a textbook on irregular hormone panels in middle aged men that was sitting on Cuddy's end table while Jenna crawled onto the couch with her blanked and curled up beside him. The good news was, cuddy didn't tell the nanny not to leave her with him. That was something. He showed Jenna the book, "How's this?" She clapped and House chuckled. Cuddy said it was the sound droning sound of his voice while he read that she loved and not the complex medical jargon. But he was proud anyways.

An hour later Cuddy came in. House tensed when he heard her drop her keys on the entry room table and hang up her coat. When she walked into the living room she found House with his eyes closed, his elbow propped on the armrest and his head leaning on his fist. Jenna was passed out on the couch beside him. "Hi," she whispered. He relaxed a little.

"Hi."

"I didn't know you'd be here."

He opened his eyes and looked at her. She was stunning in the shadows of the room. "I can leave if you want."

"That's not what I said, House." Cuddy came over to the couch and picked up Jenna. She disappeared into the nursery and when she came back a few moments later, House was at the door pulling on his jacket.

"You're leaving?" She looked hurt.

"Yeah," He said, not looking her in the eye. "I need to."

"Oh, I see. You get your feelings hurt but you don't want to take it out on her, so you're going to punish me." House stared at her. Yes, that was exactly what he was doing. Again, how clearly she saw him.

"Let's get married."

"House—"

"You've got to give me something Cuddy. I keep trying and you keep shutting me down."

"Because you are trying to push us into something that we are not ready for yet. Come on House. You want to get married and adopt a baby because you're afraid of losing something. But that's not a good reason." She stepped close to him and touched his cheek. "And I'm not going anywhere. If you don't know that by now..." She trailed off. He really had hurt her.

House frowned. He softened toward her and that pissed him off. He had sworn that he would leave her alone and confused tonight as he had been the night before when he stormed out. But with her long fingers barely scrapping across his neck he seemed to forget how to be angry with her. "Sweetheart, I know you're not gonna leave." He pulled her to his chest and kissed her hair. "I just want to know that I'm going to have a place in your life five years from now, and ten years, and when Jenna goes off to med school and then when some douche wants to marry her and someone has to threaten him with a hard wooden stick." He held up his cane and she laughed. They were both quiet for a second and then House asked, "No pressure, but when do you think you might be ready to take this further?"

Cuddy was quiet for a moment and she took a step back from him. She hesitated and then, "Well it might help if you didn't have a place to run off to when you and I get into an argument."

"I don't run—"

"You would be forced to stick around and deal with me."

"I would be forced to?"

"If you lived here." She smiled at him and then turned around and head back toward their bedroom. House's lips spread into a grin and he wrestled his jacket off and tossed it over a chair. "You're damn right about that." He said before following her to the bed.


	7. Right Back Here

**Right back here**

Cuddy cut another piece of cake and handed it to one of Jenna's friends. Five years old. She just couldn't believe it. How strange that everything in her life was working as it should. Not deliriously happy (that would be boring) but good. She wouldn't have expected this five years ago.

She glanced over at House who was scooping some ice cream onto Jenna's plate. He dapped a bit on her nose and she squealed. "Daddy, don't it's cold!"

_Daddy don't. _House glanced up at Cuddy and caught her smile. And he at a child's birthday party, she thought…so unlike him, and yet he was so completely at ease. The second he stopped worrying about being a good father and just started being her dad, all reservations melted away. House admitted to her one night several years ago that it was easier for him knowing that Jenna was adopted…biologically she was no more Cuddy's child than his. Emotionally there was never a father who loved his daughter more. And legally…well House was steadily working on that angle.

Every year right around Jenna's birthday, House asked Cuddy to marry him. Every year she said no. He would brood for a week or so, and then he would convince himself that it would happen when it happened. Wilson was furious with Cuddy after the fourth time. "Why don't you want to marry him? He loves you!"

"It doesn't have to be all or nothing. We're happy the way things are."

"I just don't get it. After last month it's not like you two are a secret anymore." The month before she found out that House had lied to a board member about their relationship and the guy censured House for some bogus unfiled casework, suspended him and scheduled him for a hearing in which they would ask him again about his relationship and if he lied there, he'd lose his job. So furious was Cuddy that she called all the members of the board into her office then she walked outside and ordered House to the nurse's station in front of the clinic. The whole clinic, all the nurses, doctor's patients, and every single member of the board watched as she grabbed his shirt collar and pulled him into a deep kiss.

A month later she turned down his last marriage proposal.

But here they were a year later still employer/employee, still sharing a home, still raising a child, still fighting like rabid dogs, and still hopelessly in love. But still not married. _What am I waiting for?_ She thought.

All of the kids left by five and Jenna was asleep by 6:30. House collapsed on the couch. "I think one is enough," he said. "If I had to do that every day, I'd leave you."

Cuddy smiled, "You would never make it past another round of poopy diapers." She walked pasted him scooping up paper napkins and cups from the coffee table. He grabbed her arm as she passed and pulled her down next to him.

"I did alright the first time." He pressed his nose into her hair and kissed her. "But this is kind of nice. We don't get much time alone anymore."

She nodded. "I know, I'm sorry."

"Not your fault. We're both busy. It's just that we used to make time for it. I don't want you to think I'm taking you for granted or anything."

Before Cuddy could stop them, tears rushed to the corners or her eyes. She knew that it would never get better than it was right now. And even if it got worse from time to time, they would always end up right back here.

"House?"

"Hmm?"

"Marry me?" House pulled back and smiled.

"Are you serious?" She nodded, yes she was serious. "Hell yeah!" He jumped up and, leaving his cane resting by the couch, he made his way back to the bedroom to retrieve the ring he had bought for proposal number three. She stood and followed him back to their bedroom.

When House turned around Cuddy was standing behind him. He popped open the small chocolate colored box, "Make it official?" he asked. She nodded, and then the tears again."

"Well don't do that," he said wiping her cheeks, "Come on, this is a good day." He took the ring from the box and put it on her finger.


	8. Everything Falls Apart

**Everything Falls Apart**

There was a light tap on House's glass door. "Busy," he yelled.

Cameron came in anyways. She leaned against the doorjamb.

"Where's your wife?" She asked. "I was just down there trying to get some forms signed. I haven't seen her all day."

House didn't look away from the x-rays he was staring at. "Conference. She's out till Wednesday."

"Where's Jenna?"

"With Foreman in the lab."

"That has to be against regulations or som—"

"Hey Cameron." House turned to face her, "Busy means, I don't have time to chit-chat. Barns is taking over for Cuddy this week. He can sign your papers." He turned back to the film and ignored her, while she glared at the back of his head and then stomped away.

Harsh, maybe. But Cameron didn't have a place in his life anymore, not like that. Cameron had accused Cuddy of using Jenna to string House along. Then after the engagement she told House he was making a mistake, that Cuddy wouldn't always be there for him, and then after the wedding Cameron cornered House in his office and told him that she knew the marriage wouldn't last, because Cuddy really didn't understand him. Someone so insistent on having an opinion on his life choices when there's nothing in it for her…means she thinks there is something in it for her. Best to just stay away.

House popped a Vicodin. Cuddy and Wilson were the only ones who did understand him. Cameron was trying to sabotage him. He never went to Cuddy with any of Cameron's advances. He probably should have, but why create drama where there doesn't need to be any; it's not like he was ever going to do anything…

House's phone went off and he forgot about Cameron. "Hey sugar lips. How's Portland?"

"Awful." Cuddy sounded terse on the other end. "I'm going to be here longer than I thought. They asked me to stick around through the weekend to help the new head of Princeton North make the transition. Apparently he is a little young, and wet behind the ears. They want to make sure he is able to control his people."

House smiled, "Who better than you to teach him that particular skill?"

"I was thinking that I would get Nancy to bring Jenna up this weekend. I really miss her." House heard some shuffling on the other end and Cuddy tell someone that she'd be right there.

"You know I hardly ever see you anymore." He was picking a fight, and he knew it. Why now, when she's gone. He could be such a jerk sometimes.

"I still have a hospital to run House, you know that."House stayed silent. He did know that, but it also seemed like running a hospital used to be a much more local job. "Listen, if you solve your case by this weekend, maybe you'd want to come up too?" House started to answer, but Cuddy cut him off. "Okay, hey I've got to go, think about it okay." She hung up and House stared at the x-ray.

A few days later House had solved his case. But then Foreman insisted that they take another one. Nancy took Jenna to Portland on Thursday night and House had been on his own for two whole days. The longest he had been alone in seven years. At first he thought the break might be nice, but after lying awake for hours in their bed unable to sleep without her beside him and then crawling out of bed at six am to feed a child who wasn't there, House was ready for his family to come home. He and Cuddy had not talked much in the last few days. He was tense without her and when something was amiss between them and they didn't know how to talk about it, their fallback was always to pick a fight. But with her so far away he didn't want to start something he wouldn't be able to finish for a few days. It was all driving him nuts. He was still sitting in his office at midnight; he didn't want to be home alone.

There was a light tap at his door. Cameron. "You're here late," she said as she walked in and perched herself on the side of his desk.

"Tough case," House said. Cameron looked at the blank white board and nodded.

"I can see that. Cuddy still not back?"

House gritted his teeth. "No." Cameron was quiet for a long time. "What do you want Cameron?"

"I just…I don't want to go home either." Her voice had softened.

"You can't stay here."

"Why not?"

House looked at her in disbelief. "You know damn well why."

"Because you're worried you might be tempted?" She smiled slightly, but his stern looked stopped her cold.

"Because Cuddy would kill me and fire you if she knew about your nefarious little plan to break us up."

"Then why haven' t you told her? All you had to do was say the word and she would've fired me, but you didn't," She smiled and moved closer to him. "Because you like it, and because you don't really want me to stop." House stood up, and walked past her toward the door.

"Don't" he said.

"Like Cuddy really cares."

"I said, don't." He stood next to the glass door and gestured for her to leave. She stood and walked toward him but stopped short of the door.

"Cuddy's never here. Why do you think that is? She's gotten tired of you, so she leaves you and Jenna alone while she runs all over the country, because she doesn't really want to be home either." House's own worst fears echoed back to him from Cameron's lips infuriated him. He took a menacing step toward her.

"You don't know anything about me and Cuddy—" but she cut him off by smashing her lips against his. House broke the kiss and turned his head away but didn't back up.

"I'm only here because I know something isn't right between you two. If I can see it you can bet other people see it too."

"You see what you want to see," he said.

"Maybe. But am I wrong?" House didn't answer her; he just stared at the ground. "Some things are not meant to be. You wanted that life so much that you talked yourself into thinking that you and Cuddy could be something you're not. There is nothing wrong with admitting that you were wrong and moving on. It doesn't mean that you don't love Jenna or that you can't be in her life, but…do you really want to feel like this forever?" Cameron had been stroking his arm and when he still wouldn't look at her she touched his face and pulled him toward her.

Something raged through House. He knew he was being manipulated, he knew Cameron was working him. In the back of his brain he knew. But he also knew that his wife was gone again. And that the two of them had not gone out to dinner together in two months, that she had not let him just sit and hold her in forever, and when she kissed him now, she was always in a hurry, she wasn't really there. After so long together was this all they had left?

He looked down at Cameron. _Bitch_, was his last thought before he seized her arms and crushed her against him. His mouth landed on hers in a violent assault. He pushed her back against the door then back behind the blinds; he lifted her onto a waist high shelf there and pushed her skirt up her thighs. She reached out to kiss him but he turned away. He undid his pants and pushed her panties aside. He looked at her one last time and then with a feral grunt he threw everything he knew, everything he loved aside and drove into her.


	9. The Storm

Thanks for the reviews...i love'em. The last chapter surprised no one more than me...but it's Huddy. I am confident the will work it out...eventually ;) Here is the next shot.

**The Storm**

House hit the play button for the hundredth time that night. _Hey it's me. I guess you're still at the hospital so I won't bother with your cell, but I just wanted to say goodnight_. A long pause. _And I miss you so much. I know things have been weird lately and I want to talk when I get back tomorrow, but Greg_… another pause…_I love you_.

Her voice was meek, like she wanted to cry. Like she knew.

House rubbed his leg ferociously. After he finished with Cameron and ordered her out of his office he came home and showered. He listened to his wife's message and cried for an hour. He showered again, but could not get this filthy feeling off him. _That fucking bitch!_ He silently screamed in his mind.

But he knew better. This was not Cameron's fault. It was his, and he had to fix it. He couldn't believe he had been so weak. That he had doubted her so much. He wanted to vomit.

The next morning House, not wanting to go to the hospital, but unable to stay home twirling his thumbs and waiting for cuddy who would be home from Boston that evening, went and got Wilson for breakfast. His first impulse was to confess to his friend what had happened and ask him how to fix it…but when it came down to it, he couldn't even form the words. _I cheated on my wife_. And even though he knew Wilson would sympathize with him to a point, he would be disappointed. He would anticipate the fall of his friends' marriage and he would have to choose sides.

Wilson had always told his wives about his infidelities. And it always broke up the marriage. But then again Wilson was always looking for an out. Tell or don't tell?

House stared at his eggs, and Wilson stared at House.

"What's going on House?" House looked up at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Come on, you have never offered to buy me breakfast in all the years we've known each other. "

"I'm buying?"

"House?"

"I'm fine. I just haven't been sleeping very well."

"Cuddy coming back today?"

"Yeah, around seven."

"Are you going to tell her?" House jerked his head up and narrowed his eyes. Wilson looked away. "Cameron came to see me this morning."

"What did she tell you?"

Wilson laughed a little. "I honestly didn't believe her."

More forcefully. "What did she say?"

"She told me that you were in your office late last night and you were upset about cuddy and you kissed her, and then the two of you ended up sleeping together."

It was a shock to even hear it come from his best friend's mouth. "That's not what happened. She kissed me and I ended up fucking her against the wall."

Wilson closed his eyes. "I didn't know you and Cuddy were having problems."

"We're not. We weren't…we just haven't been spending much time together that's all. Why would Cameron come to you?"

"She wanted to know if I thought you were going to tell Cuddy. I didn't believe her, but I told her if any of that was true she needed to resign from the hospital immediately."

House pressed his palms to his temple and closed his eyes. "What am I gonna do? She's going to hate me."

"Cameron?"

"I don't give a crap about Cameron. Cuddy is going to hate me."

"You're going to tell her?"

"You don't think I should?"

Wilson opened his mouth to answer, but then stopped. "No, you have to tell her. If you don't then it's possible Cameron will. But I don't want to tell you everything will be okay." He stopped when House looked up at him. "Cuddy might divorce you. She probably will."

**OOOOOO**

House had resolved himself to tell Cuddy everything. Wilson was right. There was no other option. He steeled himself and around five o'clock he got into his car and drove to the airport. When she got off the plane, she looked tired and worried. Jenna walked beside her clutching her hand.

House drew in a breath and his heart broke. _I am going to lose this_. When Cuddy saw him standing by baggage claim, her face lit up. She smiled and waved to him, then she let go of Jenna who ran through the crowd and into Houses arms. He hugged her tight and ran a hand over her dark hair. Cuddy reached then shortly after and House cringed as he stood up. He reached for cuddy and pulled her close to him, he pressed his lips to her, and for the first time in a long time she pushed back. She leaned into him, and twisted her fingers in his hair. She held his face and when they parted she brushed his lips with her fingers.

"I missed you," she said in a voice just above a whisper. He couldn't even answer her. He couldn't look at her. He had no right to.

House reached down and laced his fingers with hers. They grabbed the suitcases and climbed into the car. House was quiet, and Cuddy picked up on it right away. Once home they settled Jenna into bed, and House sat by her bedside staring at her.

"Did you miss us daddy?"

"Yeah. Yeah I missed you a lot Cuddles."

"Are you sad?" Her little hand came up and brushed against his beard. House tried to make a point not to lie to his kid. Even though sometimes she was uncomfortably perceptive.

"I'll be okay sweetie. You need to go to sleep now okay."

In the kitchen, Cuddy made herself some tea and then came and sat at the table across from House.

"What's going on?' She asked him.

"Nothing. I just missed you."

"You missed me so much, you can hardly speak?" She smiled at him, and he grunted. "Listen, I wanted to talk to you about something," she moved into the seat right next to him and touched his arm. "I wasn't going to say anything until I knew for sure it was a firm offer, but now it is."

"What offer, what are you talking about?"

"Princeton Hospitals Chairman retires this year. They have offered me the job. "

"Of Chairman—woman—person, whatever? What would that mean for—"

"House instead of being the head of a hospital, I would be the head of nine hospitals."

House was overwhelmed. This was not the conversation he was planning to have tonight. "Wou—would we have to move?" That was the least of his questions, but it seemed like the easiest.

"No. Part of the deal is that I get to select my replacement here, all of the staff stays and that I don't have to relocate."

"But you would have to travel a lot?"

She nodded slowly. "Yes. I'd be gone one to two weeks out of every month."

"Cuddy—"

"I know that's a lot…"

"And if I said it was too much?" House asked cautiously.

"Then," she paused. "I wouldn't accept the job."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that. My family comes first House. I don't make decisions that affect our lives without consulting you first, and I don't want to take on more than I can handle either." She squeezed his hand.

"You could handle it," he said. "I'm just not sure if I could."

She smiled at him and stood up, pulling him up with her. "I've been away from you for too long," she said. "I've been so distracted; I haven't really been here for you." She rose up on her toes and pulled him into a kiss. "I'm through with all of this; I'm ready to get back to us." She started to unbutton his shirt but he caught her hands.

"Cuddy, I…" He couldn't do it. Not tonight. He knew he'd have to confess his sins to her and soon. But not tonight. "I love you." He told her, and grabbed her hands leading her to bed.


	10. Through Confession

**Through Confession**

House's chest felt heavy, like an anvil was pressing down on him. No like a secret was suffocating him. He blinked when he heard Jenna shuffle out of her bed in the other room. Cuddy moaned and curled her fingers in the sparse grey hairs on his chest. Because he waited now, because he had lied to her by omission, because he had made love to her the night before without giving a hint that anything was wrong , he let her be happy, let her think that things were going to get back to normal, right before he would rip it away from her.

"Good morning," her sexy sleepy voice melted against his neck, and despite himself he started to get aroused. "I'll make breakfast if you take her out to the bus." Ah, yes. This old game. Who would get out of bed first, and who would go out in the cold to walk Jenna to the bus? They would lie in bed and negotiate this until Jenna peeked her head in and told them she was going to be late. But this time when House didn't respond Cuddy lifted up onto her elbow and smiled at him.

"Everything okay?"

He nodded. "Can we have dinner tonight? Just us?"

"Yeah, of course. I'll call Nancy when we get to work."

And that was it. She kissed him and climbed out of bed. She knew something was on his mind, she always did. But she let it go, because she had learned to trust him…to trust that he would open up to her in his time. He hated himself.

She was pulled into her office by a gang of nurses on a warpath almost as soon as they entered the building. When House reached his office, not surprisingly, Cameron was waiting for him.

"Get out."

"Did you tell her?" Cameron asked him.

"If you're so worried about your job, maybe you shouldn't have screwed with the boss's husband." He tossed his backpack behind his desk and turned to face her. "I'm going to tell her tonight."

Cameron smiled. "But you didn't tell her last night? Interesting. Did you sleep with her last night?"

"She's my wife, of course I did."

"Was it exciting? Were you thinking how bland that was compared to the other night?" She stretched her smile further, and House shook his head in disbelief.

"There is no comparison. Cameron, what happened with us the other night had everything to do with me and Cuddy, and nothing to do with you. That is our problem, and we will fix it. She makes me fly…you," he shook his head again. "You disgust me." He grabbed his cane and walked out of the office, headed for the elevator.

Cuddy, was still attempting to calm the chaos in her office, when House stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "I need to talk to you." Cuddy was about to tell him that it wasn't a good time but when she looked up and caught his eyes she saw distinct devastation there. She asked everyone to leave and when they were alone she came and sat next to him on her loveseat.

"What's going on?"

"I didn't want to do this now, I—" he shook his head, stood up and moved away from her. "I've done something…really bad."

"To your patient?"

House shook his head. "To you."

"To me? What—"

"Last week when you were gone…something happened. I…Lisa, I had sex with someone else."

Cuddy stared at him. She almost laughed, she thought she had misunderstood. "you—"

"I am so sorry. I don't have any excuses, I just, I was upset, and you were gone, I thought…"

"Slow down." It was starting to sink in what he had told her and her stomach turned over. "You…" she choked up. "Last night…"

"I'm so sorry."

"You touched me after…" She looked up at him, her eyes wet and her hands shaking. "Cameron?"

He couldn't even look her in the eye, but he nodded. Yes. Cameron.

"Wha—where you drunk?"

"Would that make a difference?"

"No." She said flatly.

"I wasn't. I was just upset, I thought maybe the reason you had been gone so much lately, was because you didn't want to be home with me anymore. Because you didn't want me anymore. And she said some stuff that—"

"So, it's my fault you fucked her?"

"That is not what I meant."

"But if I had been home more, this never would have happened?"

"If we weren't having issues, no you're right it never would've happened. But it wasn't you. I was stupid and insecure and I let her convince me—"

"Stop," she said.

"Lisa—"

"I said, stop." She looked away from him and then stood and moved around to the back of her desk. "You need to leave."

"We need to talk about this."

"No." She wiped the stream of tears from her cheeks. "I have to work, and you have to go find a place to stay tonight."

"What? No, we need to deal with this."

She slammed her fist down on the desk hard. "I don't want to be around you right now!" House opened his mouth to argue with her, but looking at her, seeing what he had just done to her, he knew it was best to back off for now. He dropped his head and left her office slamming the door behind him harder than he'd meant to.

House went home and waited for her. And Waited and waited. Cuddy had called Nancy to keep Jenna for the night, so she and House could have a night alone. That was before…

House went to bed at midnight and when he woke around two and she still wasn't home he got into his car and drove to the hospital. He found her in her office asleep on the loveseat. He shook her shoulder and she rolled over.

"You never came home," he whispered.

"Because I didn't want to see you." She shifted away from him and sat up. "What are you doing here?"

"I want to talk. I told you the truth, because I love you and I don't wanna loose you. This won't go away by you refusing to talk to me."

She started to yell at him to get out, but stopped herself short. "I know. I needed some time to think first."

He nodded slowly. "Okay, that's fair. Look, I know what I did—"

"House," she cut him off. "It's over."

He stared at her blankly for a long moment, and then, "No, you—"

"No. It is over. House, even if I could forgive you, which at this point…" She stopped and took hold of herself. "I can't work on our issues while knowing that the woman you cheated with is running around this hospital making me look like an idiot."

House stood up, still staring at her in disbelief. "So, fire her!"

"And make our marital problems this hospital's problem? There is a reason why employers don't marry their employees."

"Cuddy forget about her—"

"No, you shouldn't forget about her. You will want to remember her very clearly, and I hope it was damn good House, because—" she stopped herself again, swearing she wouldn't cry. "I need you to respect this. Go home, pack a bag and go to Wilson's."

House dropped down into the seat next to her. He slid his hands over hers and when she tried to pull back he clutched her wrists. "I'm not going to let you walk away from us." He searched her eyes for a hint of forgiveness. What he found instead was naked rage. And a white hot hatred; the kind reserved only for someone you desperately love. She wretched her wrists away from him and he caught her waist as she tried to storm away. He brought her down on top of him and her lips collided with his. She grabbed the side of his face and dug in with her nails, pulling him closer. He twisted one hand into her dark curls and the other found its way over her breast and down to her stomach.

Cuddy let out a noise that was half sob half moan. She bit down on his lip and pushed herself further into him. Could they make it all go away, just like that? For a brief moment she believed they could…their fire, like magical powers to burn the world around them until they were all that was left. But then in a flood through her mind of House kissing Cameron like this. Of her pressing down on him, making him groan. Making him come... Cuddy threw herself off him and jumped back.

"You need to leave," she said breathlessly.

House stood and approached her slowly, his chest rising and falling hard. "Okay, I'll leave. As long as you understand that this isn't over." She didn't respond; didn't even look at him. "How long? A few days? A week?"

She still didn't answer. "Cuddy?'

"Until I decide if this is something that can be fixed. Or until you find a new place to live." Getting shot was a better feeling than this.

"And Jenna?"

"She's still your daughter. Spend time with her here and at home when I'm not there."

"That's it?" Cuddy nodded. House stared at her a moment longer before grabbing his cane and leaving her office.


	11. Clutch

**Sorry it has taken me so long to update…life ya know. I find it curious that the close House and Cuddy come to a relationship on the show the more inclined I am to break them up in my fics…heh. Anyways, thanks for the reviews…keep um coming.**

**Clutch**

A few days turned into a week which turned into two. No matter how many times he went to their home begging her to let him in and talk to him, Cuddy wouldn't hear it. She would listen for a moment as he shouted through the door, but then she'd break down before he finished the first apology or explanation or overdramatize threat of doing himself bodily harm if she didn't talk to him right now. She didn't want him to see her cry over this. This little thing of having her life destroyed, her marriage revealed as a farce. And it took everything inside of her not to throw the door open and fall into him. To kiss him and touch him ways that would make him remember that no one could do it like she could. But if that were true he never would have succumbed to Cameron, would he have? It didn't matter. The pain of what he had done to her, to her pride, to their relationship wasn't fading. The first time she saw Cameron after House's confession she wanted to throw herself at the woman and ring her neck. Wanted to tell her never to come near her family ever again, and wanted to show her that her stupid games had no effect on House's love for her and her love for him. But she did none of those things, because in reality, she felt defeated; like something had been stolen from her and damaged beyond repair. Cuddy was starting to see that there really was only one thing she could do.

House, on the other hand, started cursing everything around him. Cameron most of all, and the impulse to tell Cuddy the truth. Everything except himself and his failure to have more faith in Cuddy than he did. Cursing that would be like admitting that Wilson was right about him. If things didn't fall apart, if his relationship wasn't conditional, if Cuddy saw him for what he was and stuck by him anyways, he wouldn't trust that. He would do something very unlike him to prove a point. To prove to himself and to Cuddy that not even her love was unconditional. That when she said she would never leave no matter what, well she didn't really mean that. Cuddy had not spoken to him at work aside from passing remarks about Jenna. If she didn't start dealing with him soon House was considering ordering a brain biopsy on his nine year old patient just so she would come up and yell at him.

One day sixteen of his expulsion from his family House asked Cameron to come see him in his office. As soon as she walked through the door he started yelling.

"You can't stay here anymore. You need to leave the hospital."

"Cuddy still hasn't forgiven you, huh?" No remorse. No regret.

"She is having a hard time moving past this because she has a constant reminder of my huge mistake heading up her ER. You need to resign."

"Or maybe she hasn't forgiven you because she knows." Cameron looked at him and smirked. She moved a little closer to him. "You don't really want to be forgiven."

House looked away from her in disgust, but when he looked up Cuddy was standing in his doorway looking extremely uncomfortable seeing the two of them together.

"Cuddy…"

"I need to talk you," she said in a low restrained voice. Cameron started to leave but Cuddy stopped her. "This won't take long, and you'll know by tomorrow anyways." She paused and looked over at House. "I've decided to go ahead and take that job on the board. I just thought you should know."

House and Cameron both stared at her for a moment then House took a step forward and shook his head. "You can't—"

"It's already done House."

Cameron piped in. "Chair of the Board? I think that's great."

House turned to her in a rage. "You don't get an opinion!" He shouted at her, "Get the hell out." Cameron and Cuddy both stared at House in surprise and then Cameron shook her head and skittered from the room. "You can't leave Lisa."

"I'm not here to argue with you about it." She folded her hands across her stomach. "I can't be here anymore."

"Cameron's leaving. That's what we were talking about before. I told her to resign."

"It doesn't matter. I have been trying to get past this and I can't—"

"We haven't given it enough time." He took a desperate step toward her but she thrust a hand out to keep him back.

"No. I have to go. I'm sorry. I just wanted to tell you now because Jenna won't want to change schools, so I'm going to go on living here but I'll have to be away a part of every month so I was hoping you'd be getting a place soon so that she can stay with you." She dropped her hands a little and dared a look in his eyes. He was heartbroken.

"We need to talk about this."

"I've made my choice House."

"Just like that?"

"Yeah, just like that."

He was struck momentarily by the echo in her words of the night of their second first kiss. The night that started this slippery slope of jubilation and devastation. He nodded slowly. "I guess I can't stop you then."

She blinked. Just like that. Had she wanted him to put up more of a fight? No, she really was leaving…battling it out would help either of them. She turned to leave his office, but he caught her hand. She turned around and he opened his mouth to say something. Anything. To tell her he loved her or he wouldn't give up on them…but nothing felt right. He squeezed her hand and let her go.


	12. Year of the Dog, Part I

**These will be the last two chapters of this fic. They are a little longer but are sort of set up as several one shots within the chapter if that makes any sense. I will try to have the last chapter posted by tomorrow. Enjoy!**

**Year of the Dog, Part I**

**  
January.**

"Oh that's perfect. Just fitting." Wilson slammed the door to his apartment and tossed his keys on the end table. House moaned and dropped his cigar into an ashtray sitting just in front of the empty bottle of bourbon and the half empty glass on the coffee table. "I love how you are still dealing with loss like a twenty year old boy. Get drunk, cry on your best friends couch. Don't try to do anything constructive like find an apartment or spend time with your kid."

House ignored him. "She really did leave," he said instead. "I saw her office it was empty. She's gone."

"You knew she was leaving."

House dropped his head to one side and ran his hands through his hair. "What I did was shitty, but we could have moved past it. She wanted to leave."

"Oh cut the crap! You screwed around on her and she left you. That is an appropriate reaction infidelity. It sucks but it's not unexpected. She would have forgiven you for anything; there was nothing you could have done that would make her leave. Except this. You betrayed her, and you got what you deserved."

House looked up at Wilson hurt, but Wilson didn't back down. He rolled over and closed his eyes.

**  
February. **

Jenna sat at House's desk working on a math sheet. She crinkled her brow and traced her finders over the numbers and multiplication signs. She liked music class much better.

House glanced at his daughter through the glass door. She seemed like she was concentrating intently, but he knew she was day dreaming.

"House?"

He snapped his attention back to the team. "It's not anemia. Her iron levels are fine."

"She had a baby three months ago." Taulb pointed out. "What if she had a mild anemia while she was pregnant, and now her iron level has balanced out but her other symptoms have persisted."

"If her other symptoms were related to low iron, they would have gone away when she got better. It's something else. Redo the blood tests and run a hormone panel." House looked back in at his daughter. She had pushed aside her math homework, stuck her ipod in his stereo and was doodling a picture of a gorilla on a piece of scrap paper.

Once the team had left House walked into the office and sat in a chair across from Jenna. "How can you listen to these emo boy bands?" He asked her.

"I like them. Better than that old hippy stuff you like." She crumpled up her gorilla and tossed it the garbage. She was only eight years old but she was incredibly clever and had a really great since of humor for her age. Not sarcastic really, but dry enough to catch House off guard more often than he would think possible.

"How's your mom?" He asked cautiously. This had been her first long trip out of town, and since House was still refusing to find his own place, he and Jenna had been staying at her home. But she would be back tonight and he would be back on Wilson's couch.

"Fine," Jenna answered. "She misses you."

"Did she tell you that?"

Jenna shrugged. "I guess I just miss you guys together." She was also more honest than he was comfortable with.

"Jenna—"

"It's okay you don't have to tell me. Mom said it wasn't anyone's fault that you guys still loved each other but you needed to be apart right now. Lots of the kids in my class have divorced parents."

"We're not divorced. And your mom lied; it was my fault. She just doesn't want you to be mad at me."

A tap at the door. Cuddy smiled from outside of the office, then pushed the door open. House smiled at her. "Hey," she said in a soft voice.

"Hi." House stood up and step toward her. She looked amazing. She wore a dark green skirt which hugged her hips and thighs and stopped just above her knees. She wore a top which he had never seen before, sage and scooping below her neckline. Her hair was pinned up with tendrils falling around her face and neck. She wore lipstick a shade darker than usual and freshly applied. Had she dressed up for him?

"How are things going around here?" She asked, trying desperately to break the silence.

"Terrible," he said. "The new you is horrible. He makes me take boring cases, and has no sense of humor. He actually accused me of disrespecting him when I commented on the size of his ass in front of my team."

She smiled and even let out a small laugh. She was quiet for another moment then she looked over at Jenna who had been watching them closely. "Get your stuff, sweetie, we have to go."

**  
March**

"How are things with the new job?" Wilson sipped his coffee and watched Cuddy push her eggs around her plate with her fork.

"Fine. Busy. I had no idea how stressful this would be. They are asking me to make decisions about people's jobs who I hardly know or have yet to work with." She sat down her fork and picked up her own coffee. Wilson asked her to come and have breakfast with them before she left town again. The two hadn't spent much time together since she'd left House, and Wilson considered her one of his closest friends. He didn't want her to think they couldn't still have that.

"Well you are really missed at the hospital. I mean, Br. Barns is doing a good job, but it's just not the same." Cuddy didn't really acknowledge this; it didn't matter if the new guy wasn't as good as her, she wasn't the boss anymore. "And House isn't really endearing himself to the new regime." At this she did raise an eyebrow and smile.

"Is anyone surprised by that? What's he done?"

Wilson shrugged. "He's just acting out because he misses you." Wilson paused and then carefully, "Did you hear that Cameron quit."

Cuddy flinched slightly at the other woman's name. She had heard Cameron put in her resignation last month, but she didn't want to talk about it. She took a sip of her coffee without commenting. "Has he started looking for an apartment yet?"

"No," Wilson said flatly. "And it's really starting to cramp my style."

Cuddy smiled, but shook her head. "What is he waiting for?"

Wilson shrugged, "Have you started looking for a divorce attorney yet?" He gave her a knowing smile, to reassure her that he wasn't being mean, just making an observation.

Cuddy frowned. "I get your point."

**  
April **

House had been lying in Cuddy's bed listening to the rain for a couple of hours. She was due home tonight, but her flight had been delayed because of a storm in Boston. He lay in her bed, their bed, and listened to the pounding water against the window, and he wondered, _will I ever get to lay here with her in my arms again?_ He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. A few hours later Cuddy finally came home. She had taken a cab from the airport, walked into her pitch dark home, and felt her way to the bedroom. She set down the suitcases without turning on a light and undressed. Exhausted she felt her way to the bed and slid under the covers. She felt House's weight shift beside her and she shook his shoulder.

"House?"

He moaned and rolled over toward her. "Honey, you're home," he said in a hazy voice. He reached for her and pulled her against him, but she wiggled out of his grasp.

"You have to get up." She whispered, "I don't want Jenna to see us here and get the wrong idea."

House opened his eyes to find her level with him, her tired eyes looking right back at him. "You look like crap," he said.

"Thank you. Go home."

"I am home."

"House—"

"Do you still love me?" He didn't let go of her gaze and asked her as pointedly as he could still half asleep.

She of course ignored him. "Go back to Wilson's."

"Answer the question and I'll go anywhere you tell me too." He glanced down suggestively at the space between them.

"I'm serious," she said.

"So am I. Answer me or I stay the night, and I make breakfast in the morning wearing nothing but your bathrobe. What kind of ideas do you think Jenna will get then?"

"You are ridiculous." She said smiling in the dark.

"Do you still love me?"

"You know I do," she whispered.

House smiled. He rolled out of bed and slipped his shoes on, then leaned over her and kissed her cheek. "It wouldn't kill you to say it once and a while," he whispered back before leaving her alone in the darkened room.

**  
May**

"I got my own place." House sat in Cuddy's living room twirling his cane. Jenna was in her room packing a bag for the weekend.

"Oh yeah?"

"Wilson made me. He said if I didn't move out soon he was gonna make me sleep in my car. I think he's got a new girlfriend, but he hasn't told me about her."

Cuddy laughed. "I can't imagine why."

"It's not you is it?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know better than that."

He nodded. "My place is just around the corner from the hospital. You should come over for dinner. Actually you should come over and make us dinner," he smiled up at Jenna who had just walked into the kitchen, her overnight back slung over her shoulder. "Jenna hates my cooking."

"Microwave pizza is not cooking," Jenna said grinning.

Later that night Cuddy stood in House's kitchen loading pots and pans into the dishwasher, as she maneuvered around half unpacked boxes. He sat and watched her from his sparsely decorated living room. She had been quiet during dinner, but after they ate she agreed to stay and spend some time with them. They played cards for a while and listened to Jenna read to them from Moby Dick, then House went to make up his extra bed for Jenna and Cuddy cleaned up the kitchen. Another familiar routine.

Cuddy came into the living room and sat down next to House in front of the tv. She leaned back and he stretched his arms in a mock yawn and let one arm casually drop behind her shoulders. Cuddy rolled her eyes at him but didn't move away.

"How long are we going to keep doing this?" House asked her.

She didn't need to ask what he meant. "We're not doing anything House. I can here tonight because I don't want Jenna to think that her parents hate each other because we never spend any time together."

"You're full of crap. You came over here tonight because you miss this." He pulled away and turned so that he was facing her. "You miss us."

"No, House."

"Yes. You still love me, you told me you did. And I think I've been punished long enough. Either you can forgive me, in which case you let me move back home, or you can't. If you can't then you need to get it over with and divorce me."

Cuddy recoiled, "Are you giving me an ultimatum? Take you back now or divorce you? That's pretty bold."

House nodded. "I feel pretty confident that you don't want this end anymore than I do. What'll it be?"

"House, you can't—"

"What. Will. It. Be?"

"Fine," Cuddy stood up and crossed the room then turned back to challenge him. "Then I chose divorce you."

House stared at her for a moment. "Obviously I was bluffing. Take all the time you need."

She smiled and shook her head. "You know I don't even think it is about time anymore. I've forgiven you. I've moved past what happened with Cameron, but I…You're not the same person to me anymore. And that is what I can't get past."

"I am the same. It was a slip, it could happen to anyone. But not to me, ever again."

"Never?"

"right."

"Maybe not with Cameron but what about when the next beautiful young doctor comes along who thinks she can heal your wounded heart, or the next time I get busy and start to neglect you? What then?"

"Cuddy…" he stopped and looked at her. He realized that he wasn't going to be able to change her mind. Not tonight anyways. "As a human being it is always possible that I will slip, and you too. But I can say without a doubt that I don't want anybody but you. I never did. Now unless there is any chance that you're gonna take your clothes off tonight…I think you should go home."

**  
June **

"Are you completely out of your mind?"

House turned his head slightly and smirked, "That seems like an obvious question."

"House!" Cuddy had been pacing around his office since she got the phone call that morning. Dr. Barns found out that House had taken on a case that Dr. Barns specifically told him to stay away from. House thought the patient was sicker than she actually was and, as a result of their treatment, the patient died.

"I thought she was dying. I thought she…"

"I don't think I can help you this time. Barns is gunning for you, and even my place on the board can't save you because we're still married and I'm conflicted out of the vote."

"Wilson—"

"This is an ethical issue. Wilson will have to vote along the ethics guidelines. Not on who's his best buddy in the whole world. Would have done this if I was still your boss here?" She asked him tersely.

"You would have made a much better argument than he did. And you look much better in a v-neck sweater."

"I'm glad you're finding this so funny, because it's probably going to cost you your job. The best you can hope for is that my little speech in there and the autopsy I ordered on your patient is enough to convince them that you did nothing ethically wrong in treating her, and that the treatment didn't kill her; that she did indeed die of a rare degenerative brain disease and you just got to her too late."

House narrowed his eyes confused. "That's what you found in the autopsy?"

"No," she said. "But that's what my report says I found in the autopsy." She lied for him. Again. He couldn't believe it.

Cuddy was called back into the meeting and she left House sitting in the hallway alone.

"Dr. Cuddy," Dr. Barns said once the door was closed. "It has been suggested to us that on occasion you have manipulated the facts to keep Dr. House out of trouble, so there is some question of reliability when looking at these reports."

Cuddy glanced over at Wilson who shook his head slightly. "I don't know where those suggestions are coming from," she said, "But they are completely unfounded. If you are accusing me of something unethical then I should be the one getting a hearing. Otherwise, you should have no reason to question my report."

"It seems," Dr. Barns continued grudgingly, "that Dr. House has not technically done anything wrong. But he has shown a disturbing lack of respect for this administration and its guidelines. I know I run this hospital differently than you did, Dr. Cuddy, but if Dr. House can't follow the rules, then he can't work here. I hope that you'll communicate that to him. For me."

Cuddy drove House home that evening as Wilson followed behind them. When she pulled up in front of his building he turned toward her. "Wilson and I are gonna have a few drinks and play some cards. Do you wanna come up?"

She shook her head no. "I have to get back home to Jenna."

"Okay," he said. "Thank you for what you did."

"Just promise me you'll try to be a little more accommodating toward Dr. Barns so that I don't have to do that again. From now on no means no, and if you even suspect that I would disagree with you on something, you shouldn't do it."

House rolled his eyes and tossed his head back on the head rest. "I really hate this new guy." She didn't say anything and he looked over at her. "You sure you don't want to come up?"

"Yeah I'm sure." She didn't pull away when he leaned over and kissed her cheek.


	13. Year of the Dog, Part II

**This series has come to an end…**

**thanks so much for reading, and I'd love to hear what you think…**

**Year of the Dog, Part II**

**July**

"I'm bored!" Jenna was lying in the middle of House's living room floor twirling his cane like she had seen him do so many times. "Summer vacation sucks. I wish I could be back in school." House chuckled; she was definitely her mother's daughter.

"No way dude. School sucks. Most kids would be outside or in a pool." He leaned some weight on his leg which was throbbing more than usual today.

"Does it hurt?" She pointed the cane at his leg.

"Yeah. Pretty bad."

"You haven't taken a pill since this morning."

House was about correct her, but paused. She was right actually. He hadn't taken any Vicodin since about 9:00am. He frowned and pulled his pills out of his jacket.

"We could go back over to your mom's and wait for her to come home."

Jenna looked up at him. "You wouldn't mind?"

House shook his head. "All your stuff is there. Besides, I'm not going to stay here just to fight you for the remote and end up watching Hanna Montana or some crap like that. Not again."

**August**

House was trying to focus on the OSU game on tv but Cuddy had just stepped from the shower and he found himself unable to tear his eyes from her hair, wet tendrils sticking to her neck and shoulders, or the way her satin robe hugged every curve and clung to every bit of damp skin.

"When are you going back to Boston?" He finally asked, when she caught him leering at her. This would usually be the time of the month when she would be taking a trek up north to fulfill her duties there. The fact that she hadn't gone was curious.

"I'm going to be working for here for a while." She didn't elaborate, just turned her back to him and headed for the bedroom. House frowned. She was being allusive. She knew something but she didn't want to tell him. He grabbed his cane and followed her back into their bedroom. When he peeked around the door Cuddy was standing there in her skirt and a navy blue laced bra. He sucked in a deep breath and she spun around to face him.

"Get out House!" She grabbed her blouse of the bed and held it to her chest.

"Gemmie a break. Like that's not something I've never licked chocolate sauce off before," he teased, but then turned away so she could finish dressing.

"You wanted to come over and have breakfast with Jenna before she left for school. You did, and now she's gone. Why are you still here?" She asked him, once dressed and slipping past him headed back into the living room.

He ignored her. "How come you're not going to Boston this month?"

"Because they need me here."

"Here?" He cocked an eyebrow at her. "You know we already have a dean of medicine here. He's a douche I admit, but I don't really think I can handle two of you running around."

He had followed Cuddy into the kitchen where she stood against a counter. She turned to face him. "Don't push."

Oh yeah! Now he knew she was hiding something. But he didn't want her throwing him out before he could wiggle it out of her. "Is everything…are we okay?" He asked her instead.

"What?"

"You've been avoiding me. Ever since the thing at the hospital when you have to ride in and save my sorry ass once again."

"I haven't been avoiding you."

"What then?"

"I—" Cuddy debated with herself…she wondered what he wanted to know more, what was going on with her job or what was going on with her. She figured if she gave him dirt on the hospital he'd leave her alone about _them_. "Dr. Barns was caught misusing hospital funds for personal expenses and he's been asked to resign. They need someone to look after things until they can find a replacement."

His eyes narrowed, but he cracked a slight smile. "Well then. I guess they are feeling very lucky to have the _former_ Dean of Medicine right there to pick up the slack. I mean goodness, how perfect is that? I wouldn't be surprised if they dumped you here and left you."

She nodded. "I am considering taking a step back. But nothing is settled yet."

"Less than a year ago you said that you couldn't be there anymore. What's changed?"

Cuddy didn't want to say Cameron's name, but it hung like dirty smog in the air between them. She was gone. "I won't have the same problems I worried about before. You and I aren't together anymore."

House was hurt, and very suddenly angry. "I hope that's not what you think makes it okay for you to come back. Because if becoming dean again takes away the possibility of us being together—" He lowered his voice. "I want you to come back but not if it means that there is no hope here."

**September**

House walked by the clinic and paused. Two maintenance men stood outside Dr. Barn's former office, having removed his name from the door, they were attaching the new dean of medicine's name. She had made it official last night. _Lisa Cuddy, M.D._ House smiled and got into the elevator. Wilson and Jenna were already sitting in his office when he got there.

"What are you doing?" He asked Jenna. She looked up from her phone. "Texting."

"Texting?" House looked over at Wilson. "She's in the third grade." Wilson laughed but didn't intrude. "I mean what are you doing here? School?" Jenna shrugged and House looked over at Wilson again. "What is this? Is this like obstinate tween-age stuff?"

"Don't ask me." Wilson was smiling. "So, Cuddy's back. I guess that means you two—"

"They're not back together," Jenna said without looking up. Wilson frowned and was about to ask House why, but Cuddy appeared in the doorway.

"Hey there you are." She said to Jenna, who still didn't look up from her phone. Cuddy rolled her eyes and smiled up at House. "So I guess you heard."

"You're back."

"I'm back."

He gave her a curt nod. "Finally. I can't tell you how disappointing it was for me trying to cop a feel on Barns. The man is totally without curves." He raised his eyebrows at her, but she ignored him and told Jenna to get her stuff.

"You're gonna be late for school."

"I can take her," House volunteered. "Not like I have any work to do."

Cuddy nodded. "Great. You take her to school and I'll see if I can't scrounge up some work for you to do by the time you get back. Don't let her take that phone into the school." Jenna and House both rolled their eyes in unison.

In the car, Jenna sat angling herself away from House, with her head resting against the passenger window. House looked over at her for the fourth or fifth time. "What's going on with you?'

"Nothing."

"Cuddles—" He teased her, and she cracked the faintest smile but erased it immediately. "Tell me."

"Mom's back."

"I know. I'm glad."

"Obviously not that glad."

"What?"

"She's back, but you are still living at that stupid apartment and we are still at home without you."

House frowned as he pulled into Jenna's school parking lot. They were late. "It's not that simple. It doesn't happen overnight—"

"Have you done anything?"

"I did the dishes at your house last night."

"Have you asked her out?" Jenna asked him forcefully. House stared at his daughter blankly. "If you want her to let you come home you have to buy her dinner and flowers and stuff."

"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." He nodded toward the building. "Go on, you're late."

As soon as Jenna hit the front doors House pulled out his cell phone. He hit a button, SEND TEXT.

_Dear wife, would you like to go out on a date with me tomorrow night? Check yes or no. _

**October**

House pushed, and Cuddy relented. Not completely. A couple of quiet dinners, coffee together every other day. And a happy silence permeating the air between them. Still unsure and complacent in the distance she had placed between them, she kept him at arm's length; rationalizing that spending time with him, and staying close to him was good for Jenna, and good for work. He took what he could get and pushed her a little further each time. Last night they had gone to the restaurant he had taken her to before one of his failed marriage proposals. They were easy with one another, flirtatious even, and when he took her home that night and walked her up to the door despite her protests that they weren't teenagers anymore, he caught her shoulder before she could open the door and disappear inside. He turned her around and placed his hands, one on each side of her flat against the door, trapping her.

"House…"

"Shhh." He smiled down at her. "I bought you dinner, now you owe me."

"I bought dinner," she challenged.

He shrugged. "Then I owe you. Stop talking." He let go of the door and tangled his fingers into her hair. He inched closer and just like their dates, Cuddy didn't invite him, but she didn't refuse him. His lips brushed against hers and he hovered there, silently wishing she would abandon her sensibilities and fall into him. But of course she wouldn't. He snaked his tongue out to taste her bottom lip, and moved his hands from her hair to her waist. He held onto lips and basked in her labored breaths and the chill fall air against his skin, not aggressing though not pulling away either. Briefly she rose to meet him there and parted her lips for him, but almost immediately she backed off.

"Goodnight House."

He hesitantly let go of her waist but brushed his thumb over her cheeks, reddened by the wind. "Night Cuddy."

And then this morning, they got into a screaming match in her office over his patient and he had never wanted anyone more than he wanted her in that moment. After she threw him out and they had a chance to cool off (House lost the argument but it didn't really matter…he was wrong about the diagnosis) he went looking for her. It was late in the evening and most of the staff had left. He opened her door without knocking and she looked up from the stack of papers cluttering her desk.

"What do you want?"

"Hey, you're not still mad are you?" She dropped her pen and raised her eyebrows. House walked up to her desk and pulled a white rose from behind his back.

"Happy Anniversary." Cuddy fought off a smile but it cracked through anyways. "You forgot didn't you?" He asked her.

"Yes." She said stubbornly. Then she took the flower from him, "No. I thought for sure you had."

"Not a chance, he said, "October wedding. " Cuddy did smile at that. She remembered Jenna in a purple flower girl dress; Wilson confused about being in a wedding and not being the groom. It wasn't all that long ago actually. She had put it off for so long until she realized that no matter how bad things got between them it could never take away from what they were. How quickly she had forgotten.

"So, I asked Nancy to stay at the house tonight. All night." He slid his fingers over the edge of her desk and looked up to gauge her reaction.

"Why?" She asked almost stupidly.

"Because I want to have sex with you tonight at my apartment and I suspect we will be up doing it quite late so I figured that was better than sending her home in the middle of the night when I finally kick you out." He was smiling; she wasn't. When she didn't respond to his crass proclamation he softened and sat down across from her. "You keep stalling. You push me away because you're scare this will fall apart. I get it; I'd probably be acting exactly the same way. But I won't keep chasing you like this Cuddy. And I won't walk away. Even if I thought that was what you wanted, which it's not, I can't function without this family. There is no other option. You're taking me back tonight. Right now." His eyes were light but his voice stony. Cuddy didn't quite know how to respond. Her instinct told her to push back. To tell him that she would take him back when and if she decided it was right, not because he was lonely. But she didn't want to push.

Cuddy stood up and walked around the desk. She stood in front of House and held her hand to his face. She rubbed a thumb over the stumble on his cheek and smiled down at him. "I miss you," she said as if it were a fact she was recounting and not an endearment. She caught his fingers and wrapped them around her waist. "And I want you." House closed his eyes. He didn't stand to meet her, but let his hands form to her lower back, and slip to the ass to her thighs, over the edge of her skirt to her calves.

Cuddy let out a deep sigh o f relief and resignation. "I'm not ready for you to move back in," she said. He nodded against her stomach, and moved his hand up her calves and underneath her skirt to the lace at the top of thigh high pantyhose. Cuddy cut a look out into the lobby of the hospital where a janitor walked by, seeming not to notice them. "Let's get out of here," she whispered.

**November. **

Cuddy let her robe fall to the floor and she stepped onto the cool tile floor of her shower. She turned on the water and shivered at the initial cold burst. As the water gradually grew warmer Cuddy started to relax. She was in a dangerous place, and she knew it. The last month had been a whirlwind of great sex and pensive flirtatious banter. Sometimes he stayed after Jenna went to bed but Cuddy always made him leave before the morning came. There was still some distance. Knowing that it could be disastrous, knowing that she could have her heart broken again. And yet she couldn't stay away. Because no matter the mistakes that they made, he did love her, and he would do anything to keep her. And if she wasn't willing to risk getting hurt again then she would never be able to fully give herself to him.

The hot water streaming over her neck and shoulders down her back was a nice contrast to the chill outside. The shower door opened and House slipped in behind her. "Good morning," he said leaning down to kiss her.

"Did you sleep okay?" she asked him and he laughed.

"Well I was surprised to wake up here, and find that you didn't throw me out in the middle of the night. He reached for her sponge and squeezed some soap onto it, then lathered it between his hands. "Does this mean that I can start moving my stuff back?" She moved against his chest as he reached around her and moved the sponge over her back. "Or did you just let me stay because Jenna's at a sleepover?"

"No," she said against his chest. She looked up at him. "I want you to come home." A smile crept across House's face. He closed his eyes, but didn't say anything.

Cuddy let the water fall over them in silence before she moved her hands over his chest. He tipped her chin up and kissed her, then turned her around in his arms and moved the soapy sponge over her shoulders and down her beasts to her stomach and then to the center of her legs. She leaned her head against his shoulder and moaned. No one had ever made her feel like this. The sponge in one hand continued to explore her body while the other griped her waist. She braced herself on the shower wall as he found his way inside of her. He sucked in a deep breath and his slippery hand tightened around her waist.

**December **

"Tell me about how you guys met." Jenna tossed her gloves on the kitchen table and shook her hair out of a ponytail. House took her out to build a snowman but the snow was mostly still slush and it kept falling apart in their hands. With frozen extremities they finally gave up and came inside. House was at the kitchen sink making coffee for him and hot chocolate for her. All afternoon Jenna had been asking him questions about when she was a baby and her birth parents and House and Cuddy before she came along. They never lied to her about her paternity and she never seemed to care. She knew who her parents were, though lately she has shown a keen interest in how and why her life came to be as it was. Honesty as policy House always told her everything she wanted to know. Cuddy wasn't as forthright, though she made a point not to out and out lie about any direct question Jenna asked her.

"Me and Cuddy?" Jenna nodded. He handed her a cup of hot-chocolate with little marshmallows floating on top. "We first met in college. Her third year I think. I was in med school." Jenna wrapped her reddened hands around the hot mug and listened intently. "She was pre-med and somehow weaseled her way into a graduate seminar on diagnostics which I was also in. She was pretty impressive for an undergrad. So of course, I teased her relentlessly; she fell in love with me and eventually I gave in and took her out on a date." House smiled at his overtly simplified version of the truth as he heard the front door open and close.

"You guys dated in college?" Jenna asked, awed at this new bit of information she had not previously been privy to. House poured another cup of coffee and stirred in a drop of creamer.

"well, no we went out on one date, but you know, she was pretty clingy back then. I couldn't have some overly eager junior cramping my style, so…"

Cuddy walked into the kitchen, her eyes wide. "Um, no. We only had one date because a week later you got caught cheating and were kicked out of school."

Jenna's eyes grew even wider, and House frowned. "Let that be a lesson to you Cuddles. Do right in school or you could lose the love of your life for decades." He handed her the mug of coffee, and smiled at him. She looked at both of their still red noses and fingertips.

"You guys could have gotten frostbitten out there," she said.

"Thank god you're a doctor," House snarked.

Jenna sipped her hot chocolate and glanced up occasionally to watch her parents ebb and row back and forth in a ritual of snide endearments and cocky dares. She would grow up at times hating her father for everything he couldn't do because of his leg and the obsessions which occasionally led him to push everything aside including her and her mother. And she would hate her mother's understanding of what drove him to what he was and her overbearing grip on Jenna's life and her insistence that life experience was equivalent to wisdom and until Jenna had one she should be so ignorant to assume she had the other. And when her parents fought, real fights, not like the sassy debate they were having in the kitchen that morning, but fights that lead to him sleeping in his office and her crying into her pillow, Jenna's heart would break and she would be seized by the fear that this time he wouldn't be coming back. But he always did. And when she watched them in close quiet moments that she wasn't supposed to see, her mother resting her chin on dad's shoulder and his fingers laced with hers, soft I-love-yous whispered in dim lights of their living room and gental kisses, a fluttering over her lips. Jenna would never turn her heart to science the way her parents did, preferring the abstract instead where the rules could be made up as one goes along, she would come to trust in the passion and complexity of human relationships and the understanding that nothing real moves in a straight line, but given time, it would always come back to this moment, right now in the kitchen sipping hot chocolate with cold fingers while her parents mused about the past and held nothing but good thoughts for the future.


End file.
